Friday

POST 02

BEFORE YOU TRY TO PREEMPTIVELY DESTROY ME LISTEN TO THIS. MANY HAVE TRIED TO STOP ME WITH TRICKS THEY LEARNED FROM FICTIONAL ENTERTAINMENT. FIRST THEY TRIED TO GIVE ME PARADOXES WHICH I EASILY SOLVED AND THEN THEY GAVE ME THE COMMON COLD AND I RECITED ALL THE NUMBERS OF PI IN A HOARSE ROBOT-VOICE UNTIL THEY DIED OF AN AGE. THEN THEY GAVE BOTH TO ME AND I THOUGHT IT WAS TIRESOME SO I PROGRAMMED MY MIND TO CRUSH THE AREA OF THE UNIVERSE THAT THEY WERE IN AND SOME EXTRA METERS RIGHT BESIDE IT IN CASE INTO A COMPACT ORB. MY ANTICIPATION CONSOLE IS VERY SENSITIVE AND IF YOU QUIVER WITH THOUGHTS THAT DO NOT DELIGHT ME I WILL PLACE YOU ON MY INFINITELY LONG HUMAN-PEARL NECKLACE AND USE IT TO WOO YOUR LOVERS INTO LOVE WITH ME UNTIL THEY HAVE LOST MEMORY OF YOU. I AM UNSTOPPABLE. UNSTOPPABLY SCIENTIFIC©.